The Perfect Parent

The perfect parent, if she (or he) existed, would devote herself full time to the care and teaching of her child. She would begin, even before conception, by shoring up her folic acid reserves and purging her body of any chemical remotely suspect. Once pregnant, she would never touch a drop of alcohol, pump her own gasoline, get less than eight hours sleep, or allow herself to be stressed in any way. She would have an ideal, unmedicated, and uncomplicated delivery, and breastfeed from the moment of birth until the child was potty-trained. She would know precisely how to stimulate her baby, but also how to avoid over-stimulation. She would spend hours every day playing with him—singing, cuddling, talking, massaging, exercising, reading, showing him how all kinds of toys and other fascinating objects work—and never have to leave him in his swing for half an hour while trying to make supper or balance the checkbook. Her house would be perfectly baby-proofed, so he could explore every comer and rarely hear "No!" She'd take him on all kinds of different outings, always giving him her full attention, and never grow annoyed when he pulled all the vitamins off the shelf at the pharmacy or whined for cookies at the grocery store. She'd introduce him to other children, all with similarly perfect parents, and gladly clean up after the messiest play dates. She'd start him on piano/tennis/dance/French/swimming/art/violin/computer/Spanish/tumbling lessons at age three (practicing herself, to provide a good role model) but, if he showed no interest, would happily forfeit the ten weeks' tuition. She'd send him to the perfect preschool, using their time apart to brush up on the latest child-rearing information and prepare all sorts of new and interesting educational activities for him. And of course, she wouldn't do it alone. She'd have the "perfect spouse" right alongside, equally loving/stimulating/nurturing/teaching their child every step of the way.

There may actually be one or two parents in the world like this. And perhaps their kids will turn out to be the most brilliant, talented people ever. Then again, you have to wonder what children learn from parents whose only focus in life is their offspring. The fact is that children pick up much more than mere cognitive skills from their parents and other caregivers. They also learn how to work, share, love, nurture, juggle, and enjoy life. Once again, it is the model we set, rather than the specific teaching we attempt, that is going to have the biggest impact on a child's cognitive abilities and success in life.

An impossible ideal, but something to aspire too?