Plesiosaurs Sucked
There were no real sea serpents in the Mesozoic Era, but the plesiosaurs were the next thing to it. The plesiosaurs were reptiles who had gone back to the water because it seemed like a good idea at the time. As they knew little or nothing about swimming, they rowed themselves around in the water with their four paddles, instead of using their tails for propulsion like the brighter marine animals. (Such as the ichthyosaurs, who used their paddles for balancing and steering. The plesiosaurs did everything wrong). This made them too slow to catch fish, so they kept adding vertebrae to their necks until their necks were longer than all the rest of their body. . . . There was nobody to scare except fish, and that was hardly worthwhile. Their heart was not in their work. As they were made so poorly, plesiosaurs had little fun. They had to go ashore to lay their eggs and that sort of thing. (The ichthyosaurs stayed right in the water and gave birth to living young. It can be done if you know how).
Notes:
Will Cuppy convincingly argues that this reptile was incredibly poorly adapted to life in the ocean.
Folksonomies: adaptation
Taxonomies:
/pets/reptiles (0.655550)
/sports/fishing/freshwater fishing (0.494046)
/health and fitness/disease/heart disease (0.469491)
Keywords:
plesiosaurs (0.995082 (negative:-0.567548)), real sea serpents (0.880187 (neutral:0.000000)), brighter marine animals (0.820589 (neutral:0.000000)), Mesozoic Era (0.630891 (neutral:0.000000)), good idea (0.587324 (negative:-0.268073)), little fun (0.541435 (negative:-0.581407)), ichthyosaurs (0.502876 (positive:0.376857)), water (0.469763 (positive:0.108785)), paddles (0.467558 (neutral:0.000000)), necks (0.455666 (negative:-0.599388)), thing (0.445348 (negative:-0.337023)), fish (0.406548 (negative:-0.513037)), vertebrae (0.387478 (negative:-0.599388)), reptile (0.372123 (negative:-0.770939)), tails (0.368980 (neutral:0.000000)), propulsion (0.363628 (neutral:0.000000)), reptiles (0.363103 (negative:-0.268073)), sort (0.360543 (negative:-0.337023)), Cuppy (0.359345 (negative:-0.770939)), life (0.359040 (negative:-0.770939)), ocean (0.358956 (negative:-0.770939)), rest (0.357284 (negative:-0.599388)), eggs (0.356305 (negative:-0.337023)), time (0.354090 (negative:-0.268073)), swimming (0.353466 (negative:-0.426754)), heart (0.351350 (negative:-0.525410)), work (0.351220 (negative:-0.525410))
Entities:
Plesiosaurs:Person (0.932449 (negative:-0.530425)), Cuppy:Person (0.130464 (negative:-0.770939))
Concepts:
Reptile (0.983610): dbpedia | freebase | opencyc
Mesozoic (0.716767): dbpedia | freebase
Cretaceous (0.682316): dbpedia | freebase
Ocean (0.678947): dbpedia | freebase | opencyc
Plesiosaur (0.617480): dbpedia
Jurassic (0.615781): dbpedia | freebase
Ichthyosaur (0.607725): dbpedia | freebase
Mammal (0.553709): dbpedia | freebase | opencyc
How to Become Extinct