Devil's Definition of "Embalm"

EMBALM, v. t. To cheat vegetation by locking up the gases upon which it feeds. By embalming their dead and thereby deranging the natural balance between animal and vegetable life, the Egyptians made their once fertile and populous country barren and incapable of supporting more than a meagre crew. The modern metallic burial casket is a step in the same direction, and many a dead man who ought now to be ornamenting his neighbor's lawn as a tree, or enriching his table as a bunch of radishes, is doomed to a long inutility. We shall get him after awhile if we are spared, but in the meantime the violet and rose are languishing for a nibble at his glutaeus maximus.


The act of preventing nature from recycling your parts as it should.

Folksonomies: nature embalming

/science/ecology/waste management/recycling (0.453690)
/food and drink (0.451876)
/society/welfare/healthcare/hospital (0.407574)

populous country barren (0.952319 (negative:-0.285423)), metallic burial casket (0.910417 (positive:0.202077)), glutaeus maximus (0.679959 (negative:-0.224753)), natural balance (0.673829 (neutral:0.000000)), vegetable life (0.668883 (neutral:0.000000)), meagre crew (0.642953 (negative:-0.285423)), long inutility (0.619606 (negative:-0.754652)), dead man (0.609974 (negative:-0.386746)), embalm (0.365633 (neutral:0.000000)), meantime (0.364034 (negative:-0.224753)), radishes (0.361466 (negative:-0.385395)), nibble (0.346165 (negative:-0.224753)), Egyptians (0.336989 (negative:-0.285423)), vegetation (0.334202 (negative:-0.575533)), neighbor (0.331209 (negative:-0.386746)), Devil (0.318960 (negative:-0.333979)), gases (0.318184 (negative:-0.575533)), violet (0.313444 (negative:-0.224753)), bunch (0.312520 (negative:-0.385395)), Definition (0.303103 (negative:-0.333979)), direction (0.290519 (positive:0.202077)), act (0.286235 (negative:-0.429910)), nature (0.286055 (negative:-0.429910)), parts (0.285814 (negative:-0.429910)), animal (0.275599 (neutral:0.000000))

Decomposition (0.919252): dbpedia | freebase | opencyc
Embalming (0.797616): website | dbpedia | freebase | yago
Ancient Egypt (0.788494): dbpedia | freebase | opencyc | yago
Life (0.712040): dbpedia | freebase
Burial (0.709913): dbpedia | freebase
Autopsy (0.708543): dbpedia | freebase | opencyc
Nature (0.652349): dbpedia | freebase | opencyc
Meantime (0.587400): dbpedia | freebase

 The Devil's Dictionary
Books, Brochures, and Chapters>Book:  Bierce , Ambrose (2002-01-03), The Devil's Dictionary, Univ of Georgia Pr, Retrieved on 2012-01-14
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  • Folksonomies: humor